Part I: Think you're escaping and run into yourself...


“Think you're escaping and run into yourself. Longest way round is the shortest way home.” 
― James JoyceUlysses

Click to enlarge, please!
Dingle Peninsula, Co. Kerry, Ireland
September, 2012

I tear up a bit whenever I look at the photo above because, when I was taking the photo, I was profoundly aware of how incredibly happy I was in the moment.  I wanted to be no where else.  I wanted nothing more. I wanted to be where I was, experiencing what I was experiencing, and I soaked it all in and cried with the joy of it all.

So, my friends, here is what is going on with me. My life has changed profoundly in the last three months.  There is an old wive's tale that all things happen in threes and I have believed for a long time that the adage is true.  In the past three months - while I've been away from the blog and social media for the majority of the time - three life changing things have taken place.

I will list them in order of occurence:

My job that I have been so thankful for (see my last post on the blog) for the past going on seven years was 'dissolved' just before I went off on "sabbatical" and not later as I'd planned on.  (This was a good thing in the long run, though!)

I rediscovered the joy of living in the moment in Ireland and every moment of every day was profoundly thankful just to be healthy and happy and alive.

Even though she lives 200+ miles away, I have taken full responsibility for my elderly Mom who fell while I was away, was and continues to be hospitalized due to onset of dementia issues, and will no longer be able to be in her own home which means I have set about finding her a place to be as comfortable and content as possible as she "transitions from this life to the next" (as a dear Irish friend so poetically stated it to me).

In the past three months I have learned that life changes without a moment's notice.  You'll never be completely prepared for the onslaught of unexpected events. I don't believe we are meant to be always prepared.  But I do believe we are called to be 'present' in each moment... not to worry about the past or anticipate with trepidation what the future holds.

Longest way round is the shortest way home.

I am taking each step as it comes with decisions in my own life and in orchestrating what will be the remainder of my Mom's life.  I am not doing anything carelessly but I am not agonizing over each decision, either.  I am trusting in my gut, in what I have learned throughout my life, and in God.  In the midst of all the change, I am able to write this to you with a smile on my face and a feeling of contentment in my heart.

Oh, and here is a big a ha! moment:  I am not turning to food to get me through this time of uncertainty and change.  I am finally able to reach out and ask people for help and admit I am not able to do everything, always by myself.  Those who truly know me will understand what a huge transformation this is for "ms. independent me".

More to come here on the blog... in three additional parts on 1) my incredible trip to Ireland; 2) what I believe I have gained from not working; and 3) celebrating the good moments that remain with my mother and easing the not-so-great ones.

And last - but not least - HealthyLoserGal is oh-so-back!  I have a lot to share with you, pass along to you, and am so excited to hear about how YOU (yes, YOU!) have been doing, what is new in your life, and what challenges you've overcome while I've been away! So please update me in comments here and I'll be on Twitter and Facebook regularly again starting tomorrow, too!  Yay! : )

I've missed being here and sharing life with you, friends!

Dream ~ Believe ~ Achieve!
Jan / HealthyLoserGal 

3 comments:

HealthyLoserGal October 21, 2012 at 2:11 PM  

http://tinyurl.com/hlgRunInto

LostnThought October 22, 2012 at 11:12 AM  

Good to have you back sweetie! I have missed seeing you in the twitterverse! I had no idea you were going through so much! I'm sending you happy thoughts and lots of prayer and good energy!
I knew you were going to Ireland and recently learned about your mom but until this post I had no idea about your job. I truly do wish there was something I could do.

As for me, I've failed miserably with the fitness thing. I struggled with the journaling and can't seem to get onto any type of schedule which I know I need to do! I've put on even more weight and now my herniated disk in my neck is flared up and I can barely move! I'm trying to stay positive and keep my spirits up but some days it just ain't happening! I did buy the Zumba dvds and as soon as I'm healed my daughter and I are starting on that (actually she already has started them and has lost 5 lbs!)

Anyhoo! Gotta run, will look for you on twitter!!
Lisa
(aka Lost_n_Thought)

ff12a October 22, 2012 at 11:03 PM  

so amazing! I have to email you to tell you all about what has been happening with me :) Missed you so much while you were gone, but you look so truly happy in your photos! So very happy for you, friend!!!