Fifteen months into the journey...

So here I am again.  Now fifteen months into my weightloss & "get healthy" journey! I am proud of how far I've come but not ready, by any means, to say 'this is good enough'.  It  isn't.  I'm getting out of the "overweight" BMI stats and will be able to take whatever my trainer, Parker, throws my way within the next three to four months.  By Columbus Day of this year, I will be at my healthy weight and I will be able to RUN! :)

Today is Father's Day in the U.S. and I cannot help but think of my Dad, whom I loved so very much and was so close to, and how proud he would be of me now.  He died over 25 years ago now and - of course - I miss him, but somehow I think I may not have been on this journey at all were he still around.  He had a way of cutting to the quick of the matter if he thought I was steering off course.  Somewhere along the line I would have heard something like "those pants are kind of tight, don't you think, Jan?  You might want to lay off those Pepsi-Colas!" and he would lift his eye brow and give me that 'all knowing nod' as if to say "You hear what I'm saying to you, right?"  *grin*  And because his approval meant so much to me, I probably would have 'laid off the soda'!   So, I can't help but think today that he may be smiling down from above, knowing I've worked damn hard at this and would be proud of me.

Many of you who I yack with on Twitter or have followed the blog here for awhile know that I have a dream board.  It is a way of keeping your dreams and goals front & center in your mind throughout everyday.  I have made my dream board my laptop's wallpaper as well as the background on my Twitter home page.  One of the pictures I included on the dream board (although you can't see it on Twitter) is a photo of a fit woman on a beach, her shoulders/head on a stability ball, her hips raised, her feet planted square on the sand as she is doing chest presses.  I saw that and included that photo because I thought "when I can do that, I will be FIT!". 


Please take a look at these two photos.  One is the photo on my dream board.  The other photo is of me and Parker yesterday at the YMCA in Waltham... doing the same exact thing.  I teared up at training this week and told Parker how much his pushing me has meant to me - how much he has helped me and how thankful I am to him that I have gotten to where I can look in a mirror and actually recognize myself again.  He started to say "you've done all the work" and I stopped him mid-sentence to ask him to please accept my thanks.  He grinned & did which made me feel truly happy.  I believe that good things and good people enter our lives when we believe in our dreams.  Beth Casey Gold and the folks at Vtrim are a great example of that.  Anthony at the YMCA changing his mind from who he was originally going to assign to me as a trainer, and pairing me up with Parker, is another example.

Dream. Believe. Achieve. 
I'm no longer the person who couldn't walk a flight of stairs without getting winded.  I'm no longer terrified if my inhaler isn't within sight!  I'm no longer the person ordering a large pizza and - when the delivery guy arrives - pretending someone else is in the house with me to eat it!! I'm no longer the person looking at a photo of a fit woman on a beach doing something that was out of reach.

The reality is if we believe in ourselves, nothing is truly out of our reach. 

With hard work, patience and persistence... we CAN do this!  And guess what?  I *am*! :)


Kat June 20, 2010 at 11:21 PM  

I have a huge smile on my face as I am reading this Jan! You look great and are radiant! You inspire me so much and I am very grateful that we are friends. It is going to be so much fun to see each other again when we are both at our ideal weight! Keep up the good work and continue to believe in yourself and your ability to create what you want in your life. You rock!! xoxo

Unknown June 21, 2010 at 12:44 AM  

Just like Kat I have a huge smile as well! Those pictures are just amazing and YOU are FIT and amazing and inspiring!! You should be so dang proud of yourself woman I am just ecstatic for you! It is so exciting to think of what the future holds for you, amazing things my friend!

Miz June 21, 2010 at 6:14 AM  

lovelovelovelove this.

YOU ARE DOING IT and motivating others here and on twitter.

I adore your tweets.


laura June 21, 2010 at 9:39 AM  

WOW!! You are doing so good, what an inspiration you are!

Vtrim_Beth June 21, 2010 at 9:53 AM  

I had the chills and multiple spikes in the chills reading through your whole post. Your willingness to put it all out there and keep it so real is what is SO inspiring. Your last paragraph shows just how far you have come both physically and emotionally. And what can I say about you on the exercise ball!!! You need to frame that side by side and put it on your desk:) So psyched to be a part of your journey! I agree with Kat, you ROCK!!!

Anonymous June 21, 2010 at 10:16 AM  

I so love this: "The reality is if we believe in ourselves, nothing is truly out of our reach." You are such a positive inspiration and proof that "it can be done". Well done!

Anonymous June 21, 2010 at 1:53 PM  

Wow Jan. You are inspiring and you look WONDERFUL! Keep up the good work and healthy eating!

Debbie in VA

Trish June 21, 2010 at 3:07 PM  

AWESOME job!!!!!

MamaJoss June 21, 2010 at 3:36 PM  

AMAZING! You are such an inspiration for so many...loved this post and so proud of where you are at and where you are going - keep at it!!! xo

HealthyLoserGal June 22, 2010 at 11:13 AM  

Thank you SOOOOO much for all your comments & encouragement!! I'm all teared-up reading through your posts! I don't know what I'd do without you all for your support! THANK YOU!!!!

Foodie McBody June 22, 2010 at 4:54 PM  

YOU ARE AMAZING!!!!!! Fifteen months?! That is just fantastic. You are a woman on a MISSION. You look damn strong and healthy and fabulous.