Fifteen months into the journey...

So here I am again.  Now fifteen months into my weightloss & "get healthy" journey! I am proud of how far I've come but not ready, by any means, to say 'this is good enough'.  It  isn't.  I'm getting out of the "overweight" BMI stats and will be able to take whatever my trainer, Parker, throws my way within the next three to four months.  By Columbus Day of this year, I will be at my healthy weight and I will be able to RUN! :)

Today is Father's Day in the U.S. and I cannot help but think of my Dad, whom I loved so very much and was so close to, and how proud he would be of me now.  He died over 25 years ago now and - of course - I miss him, but somehow I think I may not have been on this journey at all were he still around.  He had a way of cutting to the quick of the matter if he thought I was steering off course.  Somewhere along the line I would have heard something like "those pants are kind of tight, don't you think, Jan?  You might want to lay off those Pepsi-Colas!" and he would lift his eye brow and give me that 'all knowing nod' as if to say "You hear what I'm saying to you, right?"  *grin*  And because his approval meant so much to me, I probably would have 'laid off the soda'!   So, I can't help but think today that he may be smiling down from above, knowing I've worked damn hard at this and would be proud of me.

Many of you who I yack with on Twitter or have followed the blog here for awhile know that I have a dream board.  It is a way of keeping your dreams and goals front & center in your mind throughout everyday.  I have made my dream board my laptop's wallpaper as well as the background on my Twitter home page.  One of the pictures I included on the dream board (although you can't see it on Twitter) is a photo of a fit woman on a beach, her shoulders/head on a stability ball, her hips raised, her feet planted square on the sand as she is doing chest presses.  I saw that and included that photo because I thought "when I can do that, I will be FIT!". 

 *beam* 

Please take a look at these two photos.  One is the photo on my dream board.  The other photo is of me and Parker yesterday at the YMCA in Waltham... doing the same exact thing.  I teared up at training this week and told Parker how much his pushing me has meant to me - how much he has helped me and how thankful I am to him that I have gotten to where I can look in a mirror and actually recognize myself again.  He started to say "you've done all the work" and I stopped him mid-sentence to ask him to please accept my thanks.  He grinned & did which made me feel truly happy.  I believe that good things and good people enter our lives when we believe in our dreams.  Beth Casey Gold and the folks at Vtrim are a great example of that.  Anthony at the YMCA changing his mind from who he was originally going to assign to me as a trainer, and pairing me up with Parker, is another example.

Dream. Believe. Achieve. 

I'm no longer the person who couldn't walk a flight of stairs without getting winded.  I'm no longer terrified if my inhaler isn't within sight!  I'm no longer the person ordering a large pizza and - when the delivery guy arrives - pretending someone else is in the house with me to eat it!! I'm no longer the person looking at a photo of a fit woman on a beach doing something that was out of reach.

The reality is if we believe in ourselves, nothing is truly out of our reach. 

With hard work, patience and persistence... we CAN do this!  And guess what?  I *am*! :)