Seeing Goals Realized

Over this past weekend I hiked to the top of a lookout tower in New Hampshire.  Now that may not seem too big an accomplishment to many of you but it was a 'touch stone' moment for me.  The picture is of me on Sunday, October 25th.  I hiked up there again (with my ex-fiance) and this time - rather than stopping breathlessly along the way - we stopped once, took a short break and then hiked up the rest of the way to the Tower triumphantly!

The photo of me in the coral sweater is a photo of me THEN and part of my post of my trip there on April 19th - six months ago:

When this photo was taken on Sunday, April 19th, I could barely make it up the hill to the lookout tower. DF and I were up at Lake Winnipesaukee for the weekend and he had promised me that on weekends we could walk to get my "activity points" in for the week. The back-story here is that last summer, on a hot and humid day, we'd stopped by the same trail and I couldn't get even 1/2 of the way up before I had to turn around and head back to the a/c of the car.

I was determined NOT to let my asthma, poor breathing get in the way this time. DF was so good about it - he stopped with me along the path - encouraged me to take it slow - even said "look, my heart is beating fast too, it isn't just you that needs to go slow", so slowly but surely we made it up there and the lookout tower steps looked impossible to me as I leaned against the base, breathing hard.
But then I thought to myself, "I can do this. I can catch my breath and go up to the top." And so, flight after flight of stairs, I climbed, rested a second, climbed the next set of stairs. Up and up 'til we made it to the top. The photo is me realizing that I'd overcome my fear... it was a true smile of accomplishment. Not only had I given myself the time to get up there and not backed down from the challenge, I overcome the occasional fear I have experienced since my asthma worsened of "oh my God, what if I get (wherever seems remote) and I have a problem and I can't get (fill in the blank... "down" or "out" or "into")?" So it was two victories in one climb and the view was soooooo worth it!

This past Sunday, I felt none of the panic - none of the 'can I do this?!' feeling.  I felt great.  Was I winded? Yes - I was... my heart was pumping and my asthma has been kicked up this week anyway, but I did it... and it was an accomplishment to WANT to climb up to the top - to know I could and would do it without hesitation.

And look at the photos to see the difference that six months makes in the beautiful views of Lake Winnipesaukee.  The April colors of spring - just ready to bud and bloom - versus now and the vibrant colors of Fall in New England - echo my journey.  Six months in this journey I am so much more fully awakened with joy and hope and life again! : )

In six months I have accomplished so many of the things I said I wanted to lose weight for... I just reviewed my old list and it brought tears to my eyes to realize the things I have done already.  I am proud of myself! I have made it 1/2 way... my cup is half full... my heart is completely full of gratitude! : )

(From April '09)
The reasons I want to lose weight:
  • To be healthier
  • So I won't wheeze when I walk somewhere **Check**
  • To feel comfortable when bending over to pick up something**Check**
  • So I can see old friends and not be totally embarrassed by how much weight I have gained (this is a MAJOR one!)
  • To be more social and enjoy going out more often in public**Check**
  • To not feel self-conscious of whether something I am wearing is too tight, about to rip, etc.**Check**
  • So I can go into a restaurant and not worry whether or not I can fit in the booth : (**Check**
  • Because I know my asthma will improve considerably**Check**
  • So I can do things with DS like we used to do all the time, i.e., riding bikes, playing frisbee, going golfing, tossing the baseball, walking around and exploring
  • So I won't have like four chins and when I look down my chin doesn't receed into my neck fat**Check**
  • So I can pull my knees up into my chest to paint my toenails! : )
  • So I can touch my toes without a problem**Check**
  • Because I want to not be self-conscious all the time when in public**Check**
  • To be able to say "sure, I'll try that" and not panic "what if" about my weight keeping me from something**Check**
  • To feel sexy again
  • To wear whatever funky clothes I want to like I used to and not have it look like it may be the only thing I can fit into!
  • So I don't have this voice of my Dad in my head saying "What's happened to you?" : (
  • So I can casually fit into a conversation "well, I lost 100 lbs. once" and see people's jaws drop because they won't have ever imagined I could weigh anything more than 150 lbs.
  • To be a Weight Watchers success story and inspire others that if I can do it, they can do it
  • To play tennis again
  • To wear a bathing suit that wasn't the only one in the store that quasi-fit so I settled on it
  • To go back to Ireland and not think twice about whether or not I feel good enough to do things
  • So airplane seatbelts won't be a source of fear!**Check**
  • So my doctor will be damn proud of being right that I can do anything I put my mind to
  • So I can dress up for DF and feel great by the look I see in his eyes when I am out with him**Check**
  • So I never again have to worry that something I eat may trigger me to eat 'til I feel like I need to sleep from being so full**Check**
Thanks for following me on this journey, friends!  I'm six months in and thrilled with the results! Onward and upward! : )


Kat October 29, 2009 at 2:40 AM  

You are doing great and are an inspiration to me! Doesn't it feel good to be more fit than we were 6 months ago? Priceless! Keep up the good work.

HealthyLoserGal October 29, 2009 at 11:04 AM  

Kat, thanks so much for your encouragement here on the blog! We're both doing great... it is the little things that keep me going - like realizing I can do things other people probably take for granted (and now I am again)!

High five to you, friend, on both of us getting healthy & fit! We ROCK! ;)

Alice Jones Webb October 29, 2009 at 11:30 AM  

I'm proud of you, too! I love the little things along the way that help us gauge our progress. Think about how easy it will be next time.

Keep it up. You are amazing!

HealthyLoserGal October 29, 2009 at 2:17 PM  

Alice, you're the best - and SUCH an inspiration! Thank you! :) PS: I am forever grateful that you sounded out quinoa (keen-wa) on your blog! LOL

Unknown October 30, 2009 at 9:27 AM  

Hi there!
Just found your blog and you and I are on a very similar journey...I just hit 6 months into my new way of life. I have about 100 pounds to lose as well, and I'm down 31.6 as of today!
I love your list of accomplishments so far - I wish you continued success!
Jenn @ Watch My Butt Shrink!

Unknown October 31, 2009 at 8:04 PM  

You look so GOOD in the first pic, you can see such a difference!!! Can you see that healthy glow??? I love it, what an accomplishment and I love all that you have checked off your getting healthy list. What a brilliant list!! Congrats!

Anonymous November 4, 2009 at 2:26 PM  

Very inspiring! Congrats on your accomplishments!

Bethany November 4, 2009 at 8:18 PM  

That's great. I just found your blog, and am totally going to keep checking it out. I love when I hit a milestone like that! Keep it up!

Kim November 6, 2009 at 2:48 PM  

Kim here from Vino de Milo. I found you on Twitter and TOTALLY support you and your cause. Not to mention, I'm from Maine and living in Ohio, so seeing some of those views on your blog closer to my true home puts me in a happy place ; )
Want to send you some Vino de Milo sauces and salad dressings. Can I get an address?